Last Seen Contemporary Movie

[Tommy Jarvis]

The Langoliers 1995 ★★★½

This made for TV adaptation of The Langoliers was actually pretty good.

Of course, the makers had to work with tv budgets, so the special effects were more funny than scary and the “scaring the little girl”-bit has been parodied more than once. And certainly in the first hour, Bronson Pinchot makes for a hilarious douchebag. Scaring the little girl!

That said, the premise gets worked out pretty good. Letting the premise sink in, the realisation of what's going on. David Morse makes for a believable lead and most of the cast do not too badly with what they are given. Also good to see the master himself being given a cameo, although the meeting itself and the hallucinations Pinchot has... that's the main challenge/problem: making the visualisation as scary as King makes it in his stories. With the budget for the effects here, it looks more like the first Children of the Corn movie. That said, I have to give credit where credit is due. The chase scene was intense and the final climax kept me on the edge of my seat.

A nice addition for your King-collection.


Land of the Blind 2006 ★★½

A political thriller that becomes interesting in that it strays from the classic narrative. Yes, the dictator in power at the start (a bouillabaisse with bits of Kim Jong Un, Goebbels and others) is a terrible dictator, but the swerve (and a dose of realism is that the supposed rebel turns out to be even worse.

Fiennes and Sutherland senior are okay, but like with most of this flick, nothing is really that compelling to keep you that invested or on the edge of your seat. The lack of a real conclusion might have been more realistic, but as a viewer, you're left empty. Also, bringing in the daughter at the end just to say “hi” seems a bit forced and out of nowhere as well.

Bringing in Nelly the elephant for the revolution scene was a nice touch, though. Shout out to The Toy Dolls.

The Virgin Suicides 1999 ★★★★½

A touching mix of tragedy and coming of age, of mistery and surprisingly lighthearted moments.

James Woods is actually pretty good playing this nerdy stuff shirt and Kathleen Turner is probably underrated here. Miles away from the action comedies that spelled her breakthrough in the eighties. Needless to say, she was great as the religious cook who probably had a big role in the tragedy that went down.

But they all take a back seat to the main stars: the Lisbon sisters. Enchanting beauties draped in misery. Ready to discover the world, yet suffocated by their mother and social conventions. Or at least that's what we as the audience think or are lead to believe. What were they really thinking? What did they really want? And what was the final straw that lead to their final decision?

A bittersweet tragedy that still stands twenty-five years after its release.

[Tommy Jarvis]

Stitches 2012 ★★★★

Stitches survived great upon this rewatch.

In real life, this clown is better off stage than on it. As a killer, it's the other way round, with assortment of cheesy gags and oneliners.

The kills are fittingly gory and ludicrous and I also liked the link back to who the kids were at first.

Solid horror comedy. Underrated even, I might say.

All Hallows’ Eve 2013 ★★★½

A suitably gory and scary introduction to Art the Clown. In anthology form, supposedly to try out stuff and see what sticks. But I'm pretty sure Damien Leone he had something with this clown.

The babysitter makes for a nice surrounding story, something you can cut back to. And a solid pay-off at the end.

The first story immediately has you set up for what's to come later in Terrifier. Art being a bully and a dick to an innocent person. Here it hints more at his nature as a demon with a few devil( mask)s that I'm sure look familiar from somewhere.

The second monster – Jack Skellington crossbreeded with an alien – was less memorable but with perhaps a few tweaks could make for a solid horror villain.

The last story is closer to what Terrifier would become. With actually more plot than the full length. Go figure.

It's everything a gorehound could wish for with decapitations and dismemberments galore. Already looking forward to Terrifier 3.

The Receder 2021 ★★★

A fun little comedy short with horror elements. Is this the whackiest role in Victor Löws career?

For people wanting to see a shot that feels like its on shrooms or acid.

[Tommy Jarvis]

Hangry 2021 ★★★

A pretty enjoyable short about an abuser who pushed his victim too far.

And when she retaliates, she does not mess about. How's that for getting rid of the evidence?

Free on YT, so well worth checking out.

Friday the 31st: Michael vs. Jason 2005 ★★

Bit of a lackluster crossover.

Michael pops up from out of nowhere and the fight between the two lacks in image quality.

Half star for the funny image of both killers on the hood of the car.

Black Mirror: White Christmas 2014 ★★★½

Like most Black Mirror-episodes, this one pulls a mindfuck on you, leaving you spenidng most of the episode how these two guys ended up in that cabin.

Jon Hamm is up to the smooth talking shtick he developed over the years, but in my opinion it's Rafe Spall who shows that there is more to him than the cheeky/snarky characters from Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the dead.

I don't want to spoil anything, but the writing turns it into something you do not expect and the concept of this episode takes shunning to a whole new level.

[Tommy Jarvis]

Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace 1996 ★½

Generic sci-fi action with a lot of techno babble that's somehow supposed to make it work.

Skip.

Willy’s Wonderland 2021 ★★

The King of Ham... in a role where he... does... not... FUCKING... SPEAK!

It has a good dose of cheese, but... I don't know,man. I just was not feeling it.

The Lawnmower Man 1992 ★★★½

This turned out to be a lot more entertaining than I thought it would be. I admit that the whole concept of virtual reality has had so many failed attempts at catching on that it's become a bit of a punch line. And the 1992 idea of VR will probably look silly by today's standards.

That said, the story at the base – a man escaping the clutches of his existence to then spiral out of control and become dangerous – is interesting and relevant. And in essence timeless: People try something with the best intentions, and then run into consequences that they have not foreseen.

However, leave it to Stephen King to turn this a story about a manchild living in abuse who would not harm a fly, but then a series of events turns him into a callous killing machine. Props to Jeff Fahey who goes from full R to callous calculated killing machine. Compliments as well to Pierce Brosnan. He does an excellent job as our lead scientist.

The storytelling and the build up keep you invested and the special effects look good in a science fictiony kind of way.

Glad to have this one in my collection. Definetily up for a rewatch some time in the (near) future.

[Tommy Jarvis]

Poor Things 2023 ★★★★½

Poor Things is a delightful mix of of sci-fi and comedy (with bits of fantasy thrown in because why not) with a touching tale about a noble simpleton who overcomes adversity in order to become a free spirit (with a bit of overthrowing the patriarchy for good measure). The Academy could not love it more if Meryl Streep taught her how to box. Especially because Emma Stone hardly ever goes full retard, if at all.

We start in a pretty Burton-esque decor where a surgeon/professor (played by a very funny William Dafoe sporting a look not unlike Mickey Rourke in Sin City – you'll see what I mean) performs a Frankenstein-like experiment on a young lady who took her own life. Leading to a lot of obvious consequences: her needing a babysitter/researcher who inevitably falls in love with her and the comedy that ensues from Bella's complete lack of filter.

She then needs an excuse to explore the world. Enter Mark Ruffalo, who plays the charming scoundrel with an amount of glee that ensures a performance that makes you understand why this character falls for him and fancies furious jumping with him. Because this movie may be Burton-like at the start, but I'm pretty sure Tim never included any fornication or finger painting, let alone in these amounts.

This voyage also (seemingly) marks a visual change in tone, going from Burton to Meliès in the sets and effects. She loses her innocence (in more ways than one), but also learns about philosophy and the hardship in the world, to then return home in order to say farewell to her ailing “father” and tie up all the loose ends. This is where the movie lags a tad. You could have done without the entire returning husband subplot and not really miss anything. From my perspective, it served little more than a overcoming the patriarchy metaphor and hinting at the idea Bella was once far from the angelic fairy tale girl she was at the start.

But in the bigger scope, that's nitpicking. It's a very entertaining story with both touching and laugh out loud moments in spades. Which is of course helped by the cast. Emma Stone is dazzling as Bella, especially with the way the non verbal part of her role evolves over the runtime. Starting uncontrolled – with facial expressions and body movements that for some reason reminded me of Bjork – and then growing over time. Along the way developing a speech pattern reminiscent of Amy Farrah Fowler (Yeah, easy comparison, I know. What of it?). Oscar-nod in the making. Same goes/should go for Dafoe who has had a very strong period these past few years (with The Lighthouse, Asteroid City and others). Ramy Youssef is not quite there yet, but this performance could/should serve as a springboard to other parts.

And it goes without saying, but well recommended.

Ready or Not 2019 ★½

A fun idea wasted on a bland, middle of the road Hollywood “horror”. The kind of blandness that even makes the exploding heads look tame. Half star for the gory moment with the hand and the nail.

With enough creative freedom, Joe Lynch could have made something much better out of this.

Eight Legged Freaks 2002 ★★★

An entertaining bit of campy fun with a cornball plot and plenty of nods to fifties horror movies. The characters are suitably goofy and there are enough solid jokes and stupid jokes to keep you invested.

Also, this role fits David Arquette perfectly. Seems to me he is at his best when some kind of bollocks is involved.

Granted, the love intrest subplot were hyper predictable, but that does not really matter in this type of movie.

If you like creature features from the fifties or horror comedy shenanigans like Tremors, Killer Klowns or The Blob, then this will be right up your alley.

[Tommy Jarvis]

Smile 2022 ★★★★

I was pleasantly surprised by this one. It immediately grabbed me and didn't leave much room for air afterwards. And for a mainstream horror production, it has a surprisingly bleak ending.

Sosie Bacon does a good job as the main protagonist. She has a future in the genre. Some may be annoyed by how the movie goes out of its way to make her so gosh darn nice, but that did not really bother me. Her descent into madness goes along well with the allround eerie atmosphere that does not let up. Except for a moment of false hope.

The only problem I have is the part of Kyle Galner. I don't know why, but I was just never really convinced by his performance. Either a miscast or a poorly written character.

Black Mirror: Nosedive 2016

Short version: It starts off as The Truman show, the middle is Planes, Trains and Automobiles and it ends with Yo momma so fat.

But to make it so short, that would be of ill will. This is Black Mirror's take on social media and it relies more on atmosphere than on reinventing the wheel.

Why the Truman show comparison? Because most of the actors here look and act like Laura Linney's character in that movie. Look at their facial expressions and you will see what I mean. All smiles on the outside, but constant panic on the inside. And for what? The desire to better your life that you cannot really blame her for. And she's determined/desperate enough to ignore the red flags and the people trying to warn her. Is it worth it? Her brother asks her point blank and she says: of course it f-in is.

But then at the big moment, it of course all goes wrong big time. That's where the road movie kicks in, with the check in scene literally going back to Steve Martin's profanity laced rant in PT&A. The encounter with the truck driver offers her a way out, but she is either so determined or too far gone to understand.

By the third season, BM apparently gained some notoriety and became a show actors wanted to be on. Something they could sink their teeth into. Enter Bryce Dallas Howard. She fully takes the opportunity to show off her talent. You may think differently after seeing Jurassic World, but Ron Howard's little girl can indeed act and not too little. Her breakdown at the wedding is a well done performance and she also does the ending well, leaving you guessing on wether she is now liberated or completely and irrepairably broken.

Good stuff, this. No star rating for obvious reasons.

Saw III 2006 ★★★

I enjoyed this more than I thought I would. Then again, I was up for some gore and on those moments, Saw is always happy to provide. And The Rack, my goodness.

The movie was able to provide a sad moment with Kerry's death and te tension between Amanda and Lynn made for compelling drama.

[Tommy Jarvis]

The Grey Matter 2014 ★★★

The horror comedy that asks “What would happen if Beetlejuice and the creature from Spaceballs' Alien parody had a baby?” Good for a few chuckles and some okay gore.

Sure, nothing spectacular, but some good distraction on nights when you need Oscar-bait woe is me dramas like you need a hole in your head.

The Gracefield Incident 2017 ★½

Let's start off with two stars.

Add a half star for the crash landing.

Dock a half star for the ludicrous ending.

Add a half star for some of the effects. By FF standards, this looks pretty good.

Dock a half star for the acting. I know, FF and all, but still...

Also, dock a half star for the whole subplot with the eyeball.

Soooo... yeah...

[FryeDwight]

THE ISLAND OF DR MOREAU (1996). After managing (just barely) to get through this, I read the history and endless tribulations in making the film....What a Shambles! David Threwliss truly lacks any charisma and I found both Val Kilmer (who has made some very good films) along with Marlon Brando (ditto) to be excessively hammy. And that's not even mentioning the bullshit activities they both engaged in during the production. It's true, both actors were going through hard personal situations at the time, but either do the job or return what they were paid, so the producers could get someone else.

On the plus side, nice photography, some decent Stan Winston makeup and Fairuza Balk who I felt gives the best performance in the film, but not enough to save it. As before I will stick with the original 1932 version where it was done right. *1/2

[FryeDwight]

MADHOUSE (2004). A young intern arrives at a Psychiatric hospital for some OJT before finding there are many unusual and unsavory practices going on. MADHOUSE has a decent premise, but the actor playing the intern (Joshua Leonard from BLAIR WITCH PROJECT) is insufferably dull and three are a lot of long stretches that don't help.

A nice albeit short appearance by Lance Henriksen and a pretty good turn by Jordan Ladd keep things moving and the film DOES pick up a little towards the end, but patience will be required. Directed by Bill Butler who was Tom in the 1990 NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD remake. **

[TaeKwonZombie]

Originally Posted by Sculpt

Heart of Darkness is a story about someone going mad because they're in the jungle, which basically the root story for Apocalypse Now.

Right on. I loved Apocalypse Now...I have not seen Heart of Darkness, I'll look into it.