My Cabin in the Woods review with SPOILERS!!!
I was looking forward to this one. I’m a big fan of Buffy and was hoping for a real good horror movie. It turns out this is like Scream and basically a commentary on why all horror movie rules and themes are tired and overused. It actually gives a reason for it! Which is kind of interesting because depending on your point of view, the viewer could be one of two groups in the movie. But Scream is better as an actual movie. Because it’s more than a just a commentary on horror movies but a good movie too. Something like the Starz “Going to Pieces” special will explain just as much if not more about the workings of horror movies than Cabin in the Woods. So the only real reason to watch Cabin in the Woods for repeated viewings is to pick out all the references in the basement, control room, elevator, and final scenes. Cabin in the Woods really is a love / hate horror movie tale. But it is more hate or tired of this stuff it seems. They show that even nine year old Japanese girls can defeat the ghost girl. The whole movie makes fun of the old and tired plots but they don’t make anything new until the ending minutes. And even then it’s a big tease. It’s not really scary but that’s part of the joke too. That this stuff isn’t scary anymore.
For all the secrecy of this movie, I was surprised that the twist was revealed in the titles and opening minutes. I thought that maybe the monsters were virtual because of force field and how it was shown on posters. But they were real monsters and even explained! The movie reminded me of the old Night Trap videogame where the player would basically watch kids in a house and save them (if they wanted to) from vampires (I think). The bad guys were always people dressed in black from what I remember.
Cabin in the Woods did miss one of my favorite horror tropes of having the villain use victims bodies at end, which you think would happen with the blood sacrifice. I think that’s a flaw since the actual bodies are never collected for the blood sacrifice. You would think that there would be a collection crew picking up the bodies similar to the clean up crew mentioned concerning the merman. And with these crews, why aren’t they prepared to handle the monsters? Since this happens every year, I assume the majority of monsters have to be returned to their cages.
The best scenes to me were with the blonde girl. Her make out with the wolf and sadly short fireplace dance. That should have been stretched out like the dance in Death Proof. I like the Stoner character and his early dialog in the van explains the ending decision. Many of his lines are great, especially his introduction scene about the cops fearing his “type.” Also the dialog about “drawing a line” over reading the book in the basement.
I didn’t like the ending that much. I thought for all the attempt at something creative and new, basically saying something worse is out there and leaving it to a sequel is a cop out. I was waiting for the movie to be a movie and it ends at that point. I agree with the Stoner, I would like to see the “Ancient Ones” as large statues have always freaked me out since I was a kid. I’ve seen tons of ancient civilization statues in museums and other countries. Some modern large statues are kind of scary too. I visited the Awakening statue in DC a long time ago when they still had it in its original location. I didn’t want to go near the thing. It is just like the last scene in Cabin in the Woods although a bit smaller. So the movie was kind of a miss to me. But I would watch that sequel if it ever happened.
Questions - Something I wasn’t quite sure of. Does only one ritual worldwide need to be successful? You would think there would be more panic in the control room if what we are seeing is the last attempt before the “Ancient Ones” are revived.
Also, was anyone else slightly disappointed by the final "Ancient Ones" chamber. This could have referenced tons of old Gods with all their huge temples and giant statues. Maybe the budget wasn't high enough. I thought that would have been cool if the survivors realize that all those old Gods were just contained before the final surprise character dialog.
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