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Nice job so far, Gabe. I like that I get to abuse Bwind. AND he's old. bwahaha. Daddy.
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Your description of me is perfect.
Thanks for letting me play here |
when is the next part coming?
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Tonight, once I've finished all my homework :)
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sweet cant wait.
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Part 3
Opening credits roll. Cut to the guests sitting around the table having just finished their meal. They're chatting merrily to each other whilst Ferretchucker clears away the plates, casting glares at the happy folk. Doc Faustus stands up and clears his throat. The people continuing chatting. He looks down at Friday13thFan and winks, who then nods back at him.
Doc: Just like in Venice. F13F: Do it. Ferretchucker looks up and catches sight of Doc lifting up a glass. He begins to shout in protest but too late: Doc launches the glass at the far wall, shattering it into a hundred pieces. The rooms goes deathly quiet. Doc: Glad that got your attention, it's a little trick I picked up whilst on my travels. In particular, it is when F13F here and I were in Venice, I closing a deal to sell my house there. It was on that trip that I choked on an olive. For some strange reason the "universal" sign for choking doesn't apply to the Venetians, who stood gawking at me. I have no idea what they think I was doing. Anyway, were it not for my now good friend here I would surely have choked. F13F: All in a days work. A faint laughter goes around the room. Doc: Which is my point exactly. At some point in my life, I have come across each of you, and upon those meetings you have in some way, shape or form saved my life. I am in the greatest debt a man can be, and it is to over a dozen and a half people! Unfortunately, I cannot offer-Ferret! What are you doing? Ferretchucker is leaning down, sweeping up the smashed class. Ferretchucker: I believe I am cleaning the floor...sir. You seem to have accidentally broken one of your crystal classes... Doc: Leave it! It makes for good effect! Go, now, prepare the rooms. Ferretchucker sighs and walks slowly from the room. Doc: As I was saying, I would love to pay you each in the currency of "life", but that is not accepted at many banks as of yet. Instead, I will settle for the next best thing. My life has had it's ups and downs and currently, I am in a lull. All I have to my name is...this house. By tomorrow night at midnight I shall have declared my heir, and they shall have this house. In the mean time, I simply want to know you all once more. Time is a cruel mistress with a veil that shields that which she passes. I have forgotten many voices, many mannerisms and I will use this time to get reacquainted with them. From there, I shall choose my successor. Good luck. The hall is deathly silent. Doc looks around at the guests with a slight smile on his face. The silence lingers for a few seconds longer. The Return lets out a heavy breath and chuckles slightly. The Return: My, oh, my. It's so quiet in here you could hear a pin drop. At that precise moment, a small bronze nail falls from the ceiling above. The Return, puzzled, leans forward and looks at the pin. His eyes widen with terror as he suddenly looks up. The Return: MOVE! He dives out of the way, as do those sitting around him just as the huge chandelier above comes crashing down onto the table. Wood splinters everywhere and plates smash. Everybody is frozen by terror at what they've just seen. Hurried footsteps sound from just outside and Ferretchucker appears at the door. His mouth drops open at the sight before him. He tries to speak but can't find the words. Doc: Could you..erm...get the broom perhaps, Ferretchucker? Silence for a second, then MissMacabre begins laughing slightly, Murderdoll follows suit. The laughter spreads across the room until it is filled entirely by chuckles and guffaws. Cut to a shot of Murderdoll walking up the corridor which holds the bedrooms. She knocks on one of the doors. It opens, revealing a startled Zack. Without a word, Murderdoll slinks in, smiling slightly. Cut to the gardens where The Return and Chronogrl wander. The grass is unkempt and the trees are rotting, clearly not treated for a long time. The walls of the houses crumbling are far more visible now. The Return: I rather think I get along well with your father, do I not? Chronogrl: Oh, Return. Truly, you mustn't worry of such things. Father is an overgrown hedgehog when it comes down to it. Bit prickly on the surface but underneath that cover there's a creature of true softness. She looks everywhere but him, taking in her surroundings with great interest. The Return: I know, I know. He's a wonderful gentleman and a figure of great admiration. Chrono: Eugh. Must you speak of him in such a way? She turns to look at The Return. Chrono; He's just a man, an ordinary man who did some great things. Really though, he isn't some sort of God. The Return: Ever so sorry, I didn- There is a slight thudding sound from behind Chrono. The Return: What on Earth is that? He's looking over Chronogrl's shoulder. She spins around and sees a small shape on the ground. Bright lights shine up at her. She stares, perplexed for a moment, then it makes a sweet "meow" sound. Her eyes light up as she crouches to the ground. The cat tip toes towards her. In the moonlight, it is shown to be completely furless. Te Return gasps. The Return: What a revolting creature! Chronogrl: What? She's beautiful! The Return: Surely you can't be serious! Look at that monster! Chronogrl ignores him and continues stroking the cat. The Return ponders for a moment. The Return: And how did it make such a loud thud...? Cut to a shot of the empty, dark hallway. For a moment, everything is perfectly still. Then a scream! The shrill scream which echoes through the hallway. Doors swing open after a few seconds as people go to investigate. The screaming continues. The guests, led by V, get downstairs and rush to the source of the screaming: the dining room. The door is already open and the light on. Miss Macabre is curled against the wall, her hands covering her face. She shrieks. The rest of them look to what she is hiding from. On the far wall is Ferretchucker. He is dangling three feet off the floor, suspended by one of the long chandelier crystals driven up through his ribcage. Another crystal holds his arm slightly out to the side. However, the most horrific sight is the two words either side of him. They're scrawled ub blood, bloody which drips down the dusty walls. "MY HOUSE" Ending credits roll. |
Nice 3rd part. Looks like I took one of Newbs girls.:D
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Cool, very cool.
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Good stuff. Very nice beginning for an old dark house story.
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That's darn creepy stuff! Great for the Halloween season. Shiver me timbers!
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My parts feel like cameos and one liners....AWESOME!!!! Also very well done so far. :)
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Thanks, guys. I'm gonna be away from my computer the majority of today so I'll post another update...TOMORROW. :D
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wheres that update?
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Oh dear...terribly sorry! Meant to do this but it's just slipped my mind! Swamped with homework lately. It's too late over here to start a new part tonight, but I will try and remember tomorrow. From Thursday onwards I have a week off school, so I should do well then.
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Part 4
Opening credits roll. Fade back to the room with the deathly message written on the wall. Murderdoll's eyes are wide open, staring at the body. Zack lifts up a hand to put on her shoulder in comfort but the sight becomes too much for him and he spins around, running to a plant pot and puking in it.
Bwind: Good heavens...who could have done this? Sistinas: I...I... He can't bring himself to finish the sentence. Amicus takes a step forward, towards the body but Roshiq quickly grabs him by the arm. Roshiq: No! Nobody is to go near that thing. Amicus: What? I'm not frightened, I read plenty of horror novels! Roshiq: Don't be a fool! Every step you take forward, the harder it is to find clues as to who did this! Amicus: Excuse me. Who put you in charge? If anybody should take charge surely it would be the captain! Bwind: What? Me? Why, I'm flattered- V: Sirs! Please. This is not the time! How can you bicker over such a trivial matter when before you is the impaled body of a man with whom we conversed mere hours ago? Amicus opens his mouth to speak but is quickly shot down with a deathly glance from Massacre Man. Zack: How long has he... He bends his head over the plant pot and continues his vomiting. F13F suddenly spins around, cautiously. Massacre Man: What?! F13F: The killer...they could be anywhere! Massacre Man: Oh God...you're right. What if they're in this room? Murderdoll: The blood...it looks... Phantom Stranger: Fresh... V ignores them. Instead, he walks over to MissMacabre, who is still weeping against the wall. He bends down. V: Miss...miss...Macabre, was it? Miss. She looks up, slowly. The tears stream down her face. V: I need you to tell me exactly what happened, miss. She looks at him, blankly. V: Miss Macabre. I can help, I do this sort of thing for a living. Please, just tell me what happened...why were you down here? Newb: Can't you see she's shaken up? Roshiq: Shh! Let him work! V: Go on, Miss.. MissM: ...I was walking past...there...a wince...no...no, grimace. The handle was so...cold. Bwind: Good lord, girl! Speak some sense! Amicus: Well said! Roshiq: 'Tis Not the time! Bwind: Well excuse me if I find it awfully suspicious that...Oh lord. Roshiq: What is it now, man? Bwind: My daughter! Where's my daughter? As if on cue, footsteps sound out of the darkness of the hallway behind them. Bwind: Chrono? Oh, Chrono, please tell me that it is you haunting that darkness! No response. Roshiq: Everybody...be on guard. Worried looks spread through the crowd. The footsteps draw closer. Bwind: Chrono, if that's you- Chrono: Of course it is me, father. Must you shout? The Return: Hear...what's this? We heard a noise from outside- He is cut off by a faint whimper from Chrono before she falls backwards. Newb rushes to catch her, but The Return is closer at hand and warns off the old man with a glare. The Return: Dear me...what on earth has happened here? Before anybody can answer, Zack vomits once more, this time missing the plant pot, sending beige, lumpy liquid across the floor. The people recoil in horror. V: Perhaps we should move to another room...? Ending credits roll. |
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Random appearance? Check! Also very well done as usual.
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nice
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Nice one. I like where this is heading to.
Keep going, lad! |
One down...now the fun part begins.:cool:
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that was truly sick.....LOVE IT! Keep up the good work.
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Just wait, pretty soon you can add me to the list of hot chicks. :D With working 13 hours a day, 6 days a week, I'm losing weight like crazy! |
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Oh no! What will become of Chrono? :eek:
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Part 5
Opening credits roll. Fade to an external shot of the Manor. Fade to a shot of a long, dark hallway, lit only by the dim moonlight shining underneath the red velvet curtains. A figure wearing a black cloak slinks down the hall, crouched low. They turn, their eyes illuminating towards the camera. After checking that the coast is clear, the figure pulls the rug to one side, revealing a trap door underneath. The figure grasps the metal handle and lifts up the crude wooden hatch. It jumps down, closing the hatch beneath it, carefully pulling the rug over the door as much as it can before it finally closes.
Cut to the parlour, lit by a fire burning in the corner. Miss Macabre is sitting on a red sofa, Chronogrl offering a gentle pat on the back, re-assuring her. V stands by the corner, looking into the fire, a thoughtful hand placed on his chin. The door opens and Bwind walks in with Massacre Man and Flayed. MassacreMan: Still no sign of him. V: Really? Not even a trace? You checked his- Flayed: Yes, we checked his room. Doesn't look as though he has been there at all for days. Dust was gathering on the window sill and fire in the corner was reduced to grey ash. V: Hmmm, that is odd. Are you sure it was his room? MassacreMan: Quite sure, yes. V: It had his attire in there? Flayed: From the looks of it, yes. Bwind: Really! Why are we even having this discussion? It's clear that the blasted fellow murdered his butler and has left all of us here - probably going to claim that we did it and he managed to get away just in time! V: Captain, you're jumping to some rather extreme conclusions. Bwind: Like heck I am! The man was a coward when I knew him back in the day. Just a vile rat who cares more about gold than his peers! I wouldn't be surprised if he's run off with all of our suitcases! Chronogrl: Father! Bwind: Don't you raise your voice to me, girl! We're leaving. Let someone else nurse the prostitute. Massacre Man: You're being a bit rash, aren't you? The poor girl is in shock. Bwind: Poor? Ha! High class whore like her probably has more money than she lets on. Missmacabre whimpers, Chronogrl hugs her tighter. Flayed: Captain, I understand that you are under some stress right now, but we need you to calm down. Bwind: Oh, bugger the lot of you! I'm leaving - now! Chrono, you can hitch a ride with The Return if looking after that creature means so much to you. He gestures at MissMacabre, then storms out of the room, mumbling. The door slams behind him. Massacre Man rolls his eyes and takes a seat, lighting up a pipe. Massacre Man: When Faustus was my tutor he was always disappearing like this too. Knowing him, the old coot has probably just gone for a walk and he will appear back here in no time. He takes a puff from the pipe. Massacre Man: Of course, that leaves the question of who murdered The Ferretchucker? V clicks his tongue and puts a few more pieces of coal on to the fire. V: Indeed it does...indeed it does...Flayed. Flayed: Yes, how can I help you? V: You're an archaeologist, are you not? Flayed: Yes, I can confirm that that is the case. V: I must confess, I know little about your area of expertise but what do you know of this house? How old is it? Is there anything of interest on this site? Flayed: Oh. Hmmm. I couldn't place an exact date on it, but I'd say it was most likely constructed in early tudor times, perhaps shortly after Henry VII? As for whether there is anything interesting I cannot say. I specialise in matters abroad. Northern Africa, mainly. V: Hmm...pity. He trails off once more, silence filling the room. Suddenly, a loud bang from outside catches all of their attention. It sounds as though several people are walking in the front door. Voices can be heard, amongst them is The Return. The Return: Please, just, yes, through there. No - oh, CAREFUL! There's a smash from just outside the door and a murmured apology. The Return: Really, it's alright! It's not mine anyway. The door swings open and in walks The Return, Zack and two other people. The first is a drunken looking burly man with thinning grey hair. His clothes are dirty and MassacreMan coughs out smoke upon the smell hitting him. This is Straker. He is closely followed by a woman looking around 50 with grey hair and equally shabby clothing. She doesn't appear to be drunk, but casts a scowl at everybody in the room, as though she has an instant dislike for them. This is Hammerfan. The Return: Ah, hello. Everybody, this is Straker and his wife, Hammerfan. They live within the grounds, apparently and they say- Straker interrupts, speaking in a thick Scottish accent. Straker: I can show you exactly where that wee scoundrel Faustus is hiding! Ending credits roll. |
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What was that? Did you say bed? Naughty boy.
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Awesome story, keep it up. :cool: |
k. its been a while
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Indeed it has - totally bogged down with essays. Hopefully Friday will be the night!
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Sorry, totally dropped the ball on this one. Came down with an inner ear infection last night and had work tonight, then went out for a meal. At this point, I don't know when I'll be able to find the time to write the next episode. :(
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Where is the next part i've waited quite a while.
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a month has passed where is the next part. Whats wrong? More essays?
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Oh god sorry I forgot about the ear infection. I'm sorry ive been so heartless, Only thinking about the movie.
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Haha, really, it's fine. I have still have the notes regarding characters on the post-it at the side of my screen, it's just finding the time! I will try to get some up in the winter months before I forget.
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