it's not for everyone. You have to be in a certain mindset or else it will mess you up.

I hear a bad trip is no fun. Was the hospital able to help you? What'd they do? Parents say, no more hanging out with that wild Betsy? ::wink::

Pussies... ::big grin::

Why the hell do I only attract emotional vampires? I mean the only women who will literally talk to me or the ones who go to such great lengths and take such timing to make me think they have genuine feelings for me only to pull the rug right out from under me. I get that I am apparently an easy target for that since it keeps happening but I'm just wondering why these are the only women who will even hold a conversation with me. I find it quite irritating and insulting, And not to mention a bit hurtful and humiliating.

No, oddly enough my parents just stayed up with me til i came down. I think they were afraid of anyone finding out or the police being called. And then we didnt talk about it again

Are you talking about the girl u just posted a pic of very recently?

yeah, she and I had known each other for a while and we really clicked and had so much to talk about and so much in common but she was being secretive and come to find out there was a guy who lives near her who apparently is her fuck-buddy or something that she wasn't telling me about and she didn't tell him about me and earlier it all came out but Apparently they are still cool with each other. What the hell makes people do shit like this? I mean I understand there are a lot of fucked up people in this world that purposely like fucking with people because they have nothing else better to do, but when it is so, that's the only kind of women Imeet online that act like they are interested in you.

a friend of mine told me earlier that I should look for the silver lining in this which is funny because that's something I often say And she is right. with this girl I did learn some patience and in hindsight I realize things started feeling out of the ordinary about a week or two I go when I came across this guy and she wouldn't tell me what was going on between the two of them even though on his profile there we're pictures of them that made them look pretty close. I am such a gullible ass clown and I need to just forget about women Even if they try to come on to me and act like they give a fuck.

now, with that said, next month I'm going to see if I can finally get my Nevada state ID and then in the spring once I have been here for a year I'm going to apply to the Community College. there are tons of bars in places around here to socialize but I am very awkward in that sense and despite there being some pretty cool themed bars here, they are all extremely dark and make me feel awkward So hopefully when I start to school I can start making some friends.

Did you actually meet this girl in person or was it always online stuff?

Sorry it didn't work out, Morn. I've had that situation many times. I get she may be seeing that dude in some capacity, but I didn't follow why you stopped seeing her. Did she breakup with you, coincidentally, when you found out he existed? Or did you breakup with her when you found out he existed?

You're OK with dating her even if she may be seeing other people, right?

I mean, people date multiple people at once. Unless you're married or engaged, nobody really knows if the person you're seeing is seeing other people, it's just all part of the process of getting to know someone, and then deciding if you're going to continue, or go another direction.

You know, if you see someone, get to know each other, if either you or her decide you're not a good match right now, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with either one of you. It sucks for the person who might want to keep dating, but it might be for the best.

"Fuck that bitch".
...for whoever that might apply to...

we have never met in person and she wasn't my girlfriend so technically she can do whatever she wants with whoever she wants But that's not the point. this guy has all these pictures all over his profile of her and them together and I have seen in videos on her Channel they have known each other for at least a few years and when I asked her about him because originally I thought they were together and she told me she wasn't with anyone and then later on she kept getting pissed off that I would post things on her profile if they had anything to do with Endearment. I realize now I fell too hard for her too quick but I just can't understand why people will deliberately try to make people think they have feelings for them Just so they can build that emotion up to tear it down. sadistic people must have extremely bad lives if that's the Only thing they can do to get self-fulfillment is by bringing everyone else down to feel as miserable as they do.

I mean once I started finding out about this guy is when she started changing and going to all of these lengths to keep me from knowing about him or him knowing about me until today when the three of us were in a chat room together and he was talking to her like they are fuck buddies, which they probably are, And I got sick of it because if she's going to sit there and act like she has these feelings for me and wants to be with me she shouldn't be sitting there telling me that it's none of my business what's going on between the two of them. That's not fair to me and when I told her this I got blocked on Facebook so if that's how she's going to be then to hell with her.

Well, you're a grown man and i know you can take care of yourself but in my opinion, don't look into the computer screen and start looking out the window. That's where the real world is.

It's funny you say that because every relationship I have been in has began online. In High School when all my friends and peers were out fucking around with each other, I was left out and thus was completely deprived of a social life and now I feel like LP. I mean I know it's all about confidence and you get Confidence from experience. I need to just worry about me for right now and try to find places I like to go where I feel comfortable And then go from there. and I know it's still a while yet until I can start school, but I think that would help me out a whole lot, probably more than anything right now as far as Putting myself in a social setting.

I need to teach myself how to not care as much although That has been hard for me to do. Considering everything I have been through in my life and I am still able to feel such passion for things so easily, I really don't understand that about myself and I don't like it because it makes me to gullible and naive and has me just asking for people to leech off of me And take whatever they want from me.

I suppose another silver lining in all of this is it has given me some insight on what I do wrong. I mean I'm sure I came off a little strong in the beginning because That's just how I am and I can't help it. I'm like a lost puppy dog and when someone comes to claim me I am all over them. I can accept responsibility for being a little do straightforward and probably even scaring some women in the past but that doesn't mean women can act like they are so genuinely interested in me but keeps secrets from me even when I am asking about them and clearly letting her know that it is concerning me and bothering me.

this woman is an emotional vampire who only seems to be interested in attention and sucking every little bit out of it they can before they are discovered and have to discard their victim or plaything and move on to someone else like a hungry spider just waiting to tangle their prey in their web so they can suck the life out of them. People like that have absolutely no remorse and no feelings for anyone other than themselves because they are too selfish to care about anyone else.

It is unfortunate that The only place I feel comfortable trying to meet people is on the internet but that has always been my downfall. I mean Las Vegas is the first place I have ever lived where I have an opportunity to get out and start trying to build a social life and honestly it scares me because I am so socially awkward and have very little Charisma but I know stuff like that comes with experience. These are things I should have learned years ago but I was never Exposed to such experiences.

so the silver lining in all of this is it has taught me that I need to stop listening to let women on the internet tell me who act like they are interested in me and take the advice I gave LP a while back and start getting out and going to the places where the kind of women hang out at that I would be interested in since the bar scene isn't really for me and I'm not a one-night-stand kind of guy. I should totally start Larkin the libraries and comic shop haha. in case you guys haven't noticed I like nerdy goth girls.

Somebody seriously should give me a swift kick in the face with a steel towed boot and tell me to stop procrastinating like a little bitch and get back to working on my novel. I don't know why I'm putting it off because I think it's a wonderful idea but Something is preventing me from starting it and I don't know what or why.

Good for you, Morn. Bloof is right, what matters is what's going on in-person, and not online.

Reading what you wrote here, I think you're feeling too much that relationships are all-on or all-off. That's not the way relationships work. Relationships take a long long time. See a lady one day, and if you still think it's beneficial, see her again. And see other ladies as well.

Don't look into, or pay attention to who she may or may not be seeing. If she's seeing someone, you can't really know what type of relationship they have. Maybe they're friends, maybe they're about to breakup, maybe about to get married... don't think you can know, or even should know... just worry about what you think of your relationship with her. It takes a long time to see if it's going to work out, you can't know in a matter of weeks, don't even try.

You can date a lady who's dating 3 other guys, some who've dated her for years, who want you to think they're an item, and in time, she may want to marry you. There shouldn't be anything surprising about that. That's just how relationships work. So don't be possessive. Don't assume you can know 'how much she's acting like she likes you'. Just find out who she is, and if you're a good match... anything else is emotional speculation, and not beneficial.

I guess it's unfair to slowly place the blame on her. I mean yeah I didn't know the whole story and I freaked out and probably scared her away. I do wish she would have told me what was going on although I do realize it wasn't her place to do that because technically it was none of my since she wasn't my girlfriend. I mean in all honesty who knows if she was being genuine or playing me all along. My gut instinct tells me she was playing me and rather than trusting my instincts I ignored them which often gets me in trouble. And yeah I am trying too hard, I know that. Going out places I'm not going to just suddenly get a girlfriend, I know Real Love Takes real time and as I also said before, women my age online usually have nothing better to do than fuck with people and when you are only messaging each other it's really hard to read into what the other person actually means since you have no way of physically communicating with them and that's what makes it emotionally dangerous. I set myself up for all of this. I mean my ex-girlfriend I was with for 11 years and I met online and a lot of you know how that ended. I think once I start back to school next year I will open myself up to so many new experiences and find that there is more to this place than I have discovered yet. To be fair though I have only been here 7 months so there is still so much in this city and outside of it that I have yet to explore.

If anyone would like to come watch A Clockwork Orange with me, I just started showing it on my Facebook page.

https://www.facebook.com/27620933641...6596306374532/

So I have been trying to self educate myself a little bit on some ways I can start working on improving my own self image and be able to put painful memories behind me.

The last couple months I started getting lazy. I was working out everyday but since the laundry room is being renovated here and the Jim are in the same building it has been shut down. I know me just sitting around doing hardly anything has taken a toll on my mood as of late so I have started trying to find things to do to ground me and help me understand how I can go about improving my ego. I'm trying to teach myself to stop thinking so negatively about myself and realize my worth. I have started trying to work out the best I can to get active again and I have even started meditating. I am of course in the very beginning stages and it will take time to get better at it and for it to start benefiting me but I would like to think I am on the right track. I mean I have decided to say fuck it with the whole online thing trying to meet women because all it does is stress me out and Trigger my anxiety. Besides, this needs to be my time for me that way one day I properly can pursue someone and hopefully make a much better impression than I currently do. I am learning I need to cut all of my triggers and stressors out of my life so I have nothing bad to constantly be picking at me. The sound so weird to say considering I am 37 years old but in some ways I feel like I have grown up more in these last seven months than I probably have in the last 7 years. Sink or swim situations really do seem to bring out the Best in Me.

Right on, Brother! Just a suggestion, lots of people wake up at a specific time and go out for a long walk in the morning, at least 20 mins. Can you do that?
Of course some people jog, which if you can do that, it's even better, you will really feel the effects of pumped up system if you can jog. From what I heard, meditation is one of those things you have to do everyday at aprx the same time, and its effects are measured over years, we can't expect to see amazing results in a few days or weeks. You do a TM or what?

I get out and walk every day. I love getting out and walking around here. I just haven't been able to lift weights in a few months. I have actually lost a lot of weight since I have been here and physically I feel great! I just want to also add the meditation because not only is a good for your body physically, it's good mentally as well and it helps release negative energy and thoughts and feelings. I am trying to make a legitimate effort to turn my life around because I know if I keep on going the way I am I'm just going to end up so miserable eventually one day I'm going to say fuck it and try something stupid again. The last time I think I survived for a reason but if I continue down this path of self-loathing to the point where it pushes anyone that comes into my life away, I will eventually try again. I really don't want that but that thought crosses my mind almost every day. I mean my grandfather has been a father to me and is still the only family I have left who will have anything to do with me so when something happens to him I know it's going to hit me hard so I have to prepare myself now so that way when something does happen it won't finish me off. I think I'm doing really well for myself and I feel like this move alone has saved my life. When I was in Virginia I lived in my mother's old house, the house she died in and while I am an atheist and don't believe in ghosts and such, I do believe in negative energy and I feel like that house was full of it and it scared me. I am in a much better place now both physically and mentally and emotionally as well. It's going to take time to really straighten myself out but time is really all I have.

Still drinking soda?
That's honestly a big one.
Fucks with your system, your blood pressure, keeps you from losing weight by flooding your system with sugar, your skin even suffers.

Try doing two weeks with no fast food or added sugar. If you drink coffee or tea lower it to one sugar in each. The MOMENT you get a soda or even juice craving fucking FLOOD yourself with water, so that you think you're going to vomit if you even think about drinking more.

Takes a few weeks of being a nazi, man.

Push ups at home are a bit of an easy way to take steps - just do like 3-4 at first. Build up to 10. If you can eventually get to 20 just leave it there until such a time as you want to do more.
Or get some little tiny bitch weights. Like...those ones with the colourful covering. Start doing a few curls here and there on those when you're watching a TV show.

Shave your head fucking bald and promise yourself that you're doing it as a fresh start, and that by the time it grows back you'll be in a better place.

When you feel hungry...if you know you've already eaten enough, or that it's just a craving...if you're gonna eat, make it after you walk six blocks...it'll encourage you doing this as a regular thing, and chances are it'll be a momentary or boredom based craving that'll fuck off after a walk anyway. Take the occasional joint with you. Just go somewhere and look up at the stars.

Exercise can combat emotional/mental shit too...not completely...but medication isn't the only way. It's amazing how moving about and not feeling exhausted can do for your confidence and how you feel about yourself, I mean don't get me wrong. I never feel "happy" when I'm doing it, or even after...but the change with how you feel about yourself and how others respond to that, is real...and you get lots of good flow on effects.

Stay cool, man.

Ha! I so called this...

Hey man there's a whole thread dedicated to that.

But yeah I haven't watched it and I'm not sure if I am going to. The idea was awesome at first but then for some reason once they started using that stupid Eminem song and having him repeatedly make stupid noises, for what reason I have no idea since they were deliberately doing it for the trailer, it completely turn me off. Yes I know my hatred for M&M has nothing to do with Venom, but it just totally turn me away when I heard his stupid ass obnoxious voice. Comic book movies have really lost their luster for me anyway unless it's something cool like Deadpool or something that isn't considered Your Average superhero movie. I mean I grew up idolizing Superman and Batman and even I am sick of the DC movies after holding such high hopes for Justice League for so many years only for it to be the biggest joke of what could have been a great movie. The truth is Hollywood is getting lazy about everything. I mean when they are making stupid movies like Mortal engines because it was written by Peter Jackson, that should tell you they don't give a flying fuck.

*Jumps on top of a table*




, the year was 1778, HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW!
A letter of marque come from the king,
To the scummiest vessel I'd ever seen,

CHORUS:
God damn them all!
I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold
We'd fire no guns-shed no tears
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier
The last of Barrett's Privateers.

Oh, Elcid Barrett cried the town, HOW I WISH I WAS . . .
For twenty brave men all fishermen who
would make for him the Antelope's crew
(chorus)

The Antelope sloop was a sickening sight,
She'd a list to the port and and her sails in rags
And the cook in scuppers with the staggers and the jags
(chorus)

On the King's birthday we put to sea,
We were 91 days to Montego Bay
Pumping like madmen all the way
(chorus)

On the 96th day we sailed again,
When a bloody great Yankee hove in sight
With our cracked four pounders we made to fight
(chorus)

The Yankee lay low down with gold,
She was broad and fat and loose in the stays
But to catch her took the Antelope two whole days
(chorus)

Then at length we stood two cables away,
Our cracked four pounders made an awful din
But with one fat ball the Yank stove us in
(chorus)

The Antelope shook and pitched on her side,
Barrett was smashed like a bowl of eggs
And the Maintruck carried off both me legs
(chorus)

So here I lay in my 23rd year,
It's been 6 years since we sailed away
And I just made Halifax yesterday
(chorus)

Hey man I feel so stupid because I just now saw this. I hope you didn't think I was ignoring you because I didn't even know it existed until just now. I am losing weight pretty well and maintaining a good exercise habit and I have also recently started meditating which I haven't noticed any changes yet but I know it takes a long time of doing it before you actually start feeling the benefits from it. I will just Keep On Keepin On but despite everything I always get a little emotional this time of the year considering my mother died on the 20th and then her birthday was on the 22nd and I just get a little lonely. I am doing a lot better though since I moved out here

To all my brothers and sisters in horror and to Cheeb's little River.. may you all have a blessed Christmas ❤

::love:: you gurrrl! You slay me!

Happy human holidays everyone!

Right back atcha, Morning!

Thanks, Bloof, DeadBeat and Morn!

Have a blessed Christmas and New Years, everyone!

Ah..
New Year's Eve is going to be so much fun for me! Las Vegas turns into Times Square basically. They even drop the ball down on the Strip but I am probably just going to go to Fremont Street. All I know is there's going to be alcohol involved and if there's music probably dancing. Yes, I actually love to dance if it's the right music.

So I about laid my own ass out last night! I was lying in bed, which is literally right up against the side of my couch, and I went to reach for my phone and when I turned to lay back down in my bed I pretty violently smashed the side of my nose against the side of the couch. It bled but now I'm laughing about it!

Did I miss something? This place has been dead as fuck the last few days and I mean even more dead than normal. I think there was two posts yesterday and the only other person I saw online all day was Tommy Jarvis. No one died did they?::big grin::

I made a movie-related post and asked another question that I know nobody on here is clever enough to answer.

That's a bit presumptuous of you isn't it? So what's the question? I don't see it anywhere.

Im going to have to watch the movie.

My apologies ml, now I feel like a smartass. I didn't even see the post and now I see what you mean about the question. ::big grin::

There is absolutely no reason at all why this movie should not get at the very least an Oscar nomination. I am still Spellbound at how amazingly good this movie is.